You have your social media tools, your dating apps and a pair of X-iter if you are smart.
But just meeting a gay partner is never enough. Apart from that “special connection” cliché, bringing someone new into your life is not that easy. Especially if that person is not from your workplace or school or any other area where you continuously go and have forced but –hopefully- fun social attachments.
It is easy to date with a colleague because even if it is not on the first hand, that gay partner is in your life somehow. You have similar routines, common friends, similar education backgrounds etc.
And now, imagine someone you have nothing in common, different jobs, different circle of friends and different backgrounds. We know it’s something you’ve all done, so it shouldn’t be difficult to imagine.
Well, nothing in common, other than your mutual romantic and sexual interests. How to pursue such a connection without failing? What kind of a special touch to add to keep it going with a total stranger ? If you are like Beyoncé and say “You put my love on top.” Then it’s worth to give it a try.
These are our suggestions to make things easier with your gay partner:
- Get to know him
Starting with the basics, get to know him. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Ask him about his childhood, require some pictures, and get to know his family structure. Ask him about the classes that he hated and he loved. And listen the answers! This will help you to create a bond with his past so with his present. And who knows, your future together?
- Mingle with his friends
Okay we know that it is boring to get to know that depressed best friend. But you have to. Not only knowing them but picking one of the friends and getting actually close to him/her. Try to spend time with that friend, learn new things about him. Make his friends know that you are now the gay partner in the picture. Give them the signals that if something happens related to him they should let you know. Invite them over for drinks, be charming!
- Forget that ex
To let someone new into your life, you need to let someone old go. It’s easy as that. Don’t text him; avoid running into him in any occasion and never (never never) compare him to the new one. Of course if you want to end up alone, obsessed over something, which is not worth it, be our guest!
- Don’t compromise!
Letting someone into your life is not a one-way road. You should know that whatever you do, he has to do –almost- the same. Your gay partner should get to know you, your friends, as much as you do. If you are rushing to his graduation ceremony, you must be sure that he will come to yours (this is the part where the editor gets personal). Not because he owes you that, but because he cares about your important moments, and wants to share that memory in your life. Don’t take “next time” as an answer. Demand. If you feel like you are the only one who is showing an effort, brace yourself because it’s time to say au revoir.
Illustration by Ditokadum.com