Gay singles : being alone, source of self-discovery ?

gay singles

14th of February. You’re in your bed wondering what your day could have been if you’ve had some nice and handsome boyfriend next to you. You’re hearing your neighboors celebrating the day quiet loudly. Your phone’s ringing, Its your bestfriend sending you a picture of him on a loving trip with his new boyfriend. Suddenly, you start feeling alone, hopeless, and isolated from any chance of meeting the « good » one and being happy.

STOP ! Its time to cheer yourself up ! Take advantage of the situation, and start learning about yourself. There is no more fulfilling way than dealing with yourself and getting more self-confidence.

So who are you? Do you even know? Do you live out your singleness in a way that brings clarity to your purpose? Is your journey one of excitement, variety, and learning?

Nowadays, in our culture, being alone for gay singles is seen as something terrible, anormal…and why being in couple should be something « normal » ? What’s normal after all ? Normal’s responding to cultural codes, to some historical, religious, political, and sociological stakes. But that set of interpretation is the worst illusion ever built. We used to be (refering to gay people) considered as silly mental people, now our image’s getting better and better (even if all is relative). And so is « normality », changing through time and space. What’s normal here in our society is not necessarily elsewhere. Stop thinking your life’s more miserable than others because your friend is sure having his lover waiting for him at home with a delicious homemade meal. Gay singles do not see the immensity of rich things which are offered to them. Spending your time on gay applications looking for some one-night company or for some more permanent one won’t make you feel any happier. Spend time with yourself, enjoy simple activities, go beyond your limits. That can sound quite blurred.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of things gay singles can do to enjoy their singleness.

  1. Live alone. As hard as it is to live alone, you get to know yourself in an extreme, intense, and deeply satisfying way. It forces you to realise fields on which ones you need to work.

  2. Quit your job and find a better one. It feels so good to take a job and shove it without having to worry about any family or external consequences about anyone else except yourself. It doesn’t seem as irresponsible to up and quit when it’s just your mouth you’re feeding. So if the job isn’t right for you, get out of there. Don’t waste another minute – this is your life we’re talking about.

  3. Fly to a foreign country by yourself. There is no more intense way to find out who you are and the skills you have than flying abroad by yourself. You learn so much about how you handle foreign currency, foreign accents, and foreign chaos. You break the routine and your knowledge about your personal culture. It’s a cultural adventure and doing it alone, without worrying of checking in, when to call, and when to be back, is quite exhilarating. Broaden your vision of life and humanity. This way, you’ll stop believing that gay singles absolutely need to be in couple to feel deeply contented.

  4. Cheer your friends. They are the family you chose. Spend time with them, plan some projects, go on holidays, share boundless laughs, cook, practice sport…Be spontaneous, this way you’ll experience some crazy experiences.


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