Gay Dating: in the Age of Speed

coquelicotWe live in a very interesting era, where we get introduced to something new everyday and we are expected to adapt these innovations whether it is technological or social.

Internet, laptops, smartphones, 3G, 4G, maybe 5 within a year… As we actually –and surprisingly- adapt them very easily, we also find ourselves wanting it more. Complaining about the slow Internet at that café, warning friends that they need to change their phones because their Instagram feed is not loading as fast as ours.

As these newly adapted needs become extensions of our way of living, our gay dating practices also change with them. We expect to meet that guy, have sex, be happy, be domestic, share everything, be exclusive, have fun, make jealous that ex-boyfriend and more (maybe less in your case) in a very short period of time. But is this really how it works? Can you remember how you used to date 5 years ago?

Taking a step back from today, and thinking about the past actually blows our minds. How did we get through days without instant messaging? How did we make sure, that guy actually read our messages without those blue ticks that we have today? How did we survive without the selfies we send to our flings to make sure that we are still pretty?

This post is not about the beauty of the past or a statement of reminiscing. But it is about remembering our potential in terms of gay dating tools. Remembering the freedom that we had and remembering the beauty of being slow, not rushing things.

Follow these steps to avoid trying to be a magical time bender and enjoy yourself more:

  1. Start wearing a watch again. We know that every moment you check the time on your phone, you secretly want to see that notification from a gay dating app on your screen.
  1. Don’t schedule your decisions. Stop putting a deadline for the actions that you will take regarding your love life. “If doesn’t text me today, I am totally unfollowing him on Twitter” is a statement that would only make you stressed. Remember, he has no idea that you are waiting for that text.
  1. Remember, other people have lives too. Stop saying “How busy can he be?” Life can actually bite you in the ass sometimes and you may not in a position to think about someone on your gay dating app. Remember the week that you had to get your wisdom teeth removed.
  1. Stop stalking him. Okay, this is the hardest one to do. If you think you are not able to stop it completely, at least slow down. Stop checking where he is, the pictures he liked, new men he followed and people he hang out. If you are very curious, ask him. Don’t get drown in your own curiosity but swim with him in that –not so clean- water.


Illustration by Dito.

2 thoughts on “Gay Dating: in the Age of Speed

  • 16 December 2015 at 17 h 19 min

    Hello there, You’ve done an incredible job. I will certainly digg it and for my part recommend to my friends. I am sure they will be benefited from this website.

    • 18 December 2015 at 15 h 05 min

      Thanks for your support! We always try to find interesting subjects about the gay community and enjoy when they can be helpfull! 🙂


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